Family Dynamics
Posted by: Nicole on: February 8, 2010
I make no secret of the fact that I started getting along a lot better with my parents, particularly my father, when they moved out on me.* My dad and I are just waaaay too much alike to get along well for long periods of time. Although I find that since I’ve been on zoloft, he is much more bearable.** Or maybe that’s the other way around. Regardless, we get along better now, likely due to a combination of distance and medication.
And that long introduction is to say that over the past 15 (?!!) years, we’d see each other over long weekends, holidays, etc. I’d usually drive to their place and could leave when I wanted to because I had my car. We’d email once a week and my mom would call once a week or so. Except when they took off to Mexico every year and then I’d be lucky to get an email once every three weeks.
Since having the Poptart, however, they have been visiting. A lot. Not that I mind because hey, free childcare and the Poptart gets to see her grandparents. I just find it a bit strange that over the past 15 years of weekly phone calls (maybe) and emails (maybe) they suddenly start visiting once a month so grandma can get her baby fix.
And it is abundantly clear that the purpose of the trips are to visit their grandchild. Which is absolutely wonderful. My dad is a completely different person around her and my mom absolutely loves playing with and talking to her. It was only over Christmas that she finally made friends with my dad and he nearly started crying when he was finally able to hold her.
And they are coming into town today, despite swearing to avoid the area during the Olympics.
And it is wonderful.
*No, really. They moved out on me. They bought a condo in the city where I stayed while in university, and retired to their property up north. I didn’t pay rent, but I paid all the other bills, including the property taxes.
**He is also clinically depressed, but refuses to take antidepressants or go to counseling. His medication of choice is Glenfiddich – not to excess mind you, just enough to take the edge off at the end of the day.
Girl Talk Thursday: Oh no, I wouldn’t
Posted by: Nicole on: February 4, 2010
So this week’s topic on Girl Talk Thursday are the things you’re too chicken to do. While there are obvious things, like heroin or agreeing with Sarah Palin, here’s a top 5 list of Things You Will Never, Ever See Me Do Because I Am a Princess:
5. Be on a show like “Survivor”: really. I just enjoy my creature comforts too much and hate bugs with the fire of 10,000 suns.
4. Camping: see above re: creature comforts and bugs. Add to that campfires. They’re just gross. The whole “living off the land” just isn’t me. I mean, food comes from the supermarket, right?
3. Take a Math Class: I haven’t taken math since second year university. Math, she is not my strength. I am wrestling with this one though, because I would like to be confident doing math. I really would. Math scares the bejeezus out of me.
2. Pet a bumblebee: my mother does this and it gives me the heebie-jeebies. She actually pets them. See above re: insects. There are few things worse than buzzy insects. In fact, the one thing I can think of is my number one.
1. Pet, hold or otherwise touch a snake. Darren will often regale me with the tale of how he once caught a garder snake and took it to his mother (after he showed it to his father who cringed and said, “Go show your mother” – good man); she was making burgers, or something. She took the snake, stuffed some meat in its mouth and sent Darren on his way with the snake.
Really. That story just makes my skin crawl. I’m the person you see running full tilt out of the aquarium where they have the various snakes behind tempered glass.
The scene in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone where the snake comes out of it’s cage?????? OMG, just kill me. I watch it through my fingers.
And don’t get me started on “Snakes on a Plane.” Yes, I watched it. And I cringed and jumped all over the place. And then went and scrubbed myself with a brillo pad in the shower because EW.
Which sounds like a really good idea right now. GAH.
Overheard, or famous last words
Posted by: Nicole on: February 1, 2010
- In: 42| WTF?
- 7 Comments
The scene: in the car, dropping Left Coast Mama off and preparing to go in to pick up the Poptart:
Me: Oh, a meter.
Left Coast Mama: Oh that’s okay. They don’t monitor the meters at 6:15pm on a Sunday.
Me: Right.
20 minutes later, I get back to the car, put the Poptart in and find this gift on my windshield:
(Click to embiggen if you like).
Edited to add: in no way am I blaming Left Coast Mama, who arranged for a group of us to go to High Tea at the Secret Garden, and whose husband, the ever-gentlemanly @AnthonyFloyd, took care of the Poptart for a couple of hours.
I just happen to have the worst parking luck ever. I almost always luck out and find a spot, but am prone to getting parking tickets. Like the time I parked (illegally) to dash into a bakery for 5 minutes, came back out and found a By-law officer writing me a ticket. I hopped in the car and drove off before they could say anything though. And then there was the time on Commercial Drive when the meter expired 10 minutes before I got there and I had a ticket. On a Sunday. At 5pm.
Girl Talk Thursday: Petting my Peeves
Posted by: Nicole on: January 21, 2010
I’ve decided to start participating in Girl Talk Thursday. Hopefully this will mean I post at least once a week. The topic today? Pet peeves.
Most of my pet peeves relate to driving. Are you surprised? I am a pretty angry driver – in fact, I expect the Poptart’s first word to be an f-bomb for that very reason. Here is a sample (and only a sample because otherwise I’d be here for DAYS):
Talking on you cellphone while driving. I don’t care if you have a handsfree set or not. GET OFF THE FUCKING PHONE. You speed up, slow down, don’t pay attention. OMG, my blood pressure.
People who don’t pull up in the intersection while making a left-hand turn. Pull up, ffs. Think about the people behind you.
Be decisive. Make a decision about (i) which lane you want to be in (ii) which way you want to go and (iii) when you’re going to go. I know we all make small mistakes like this, but when you’re constantly weaving and changing lanes, you’re dangerous. And stupid. And OMG, my blood pressure.
Learn to park, dammit. And I’m not talking about parallel parking. I’m talking about straight-stall parking. It shouldn’t take you more than two tries to pull in, and one extra try to park straight. Just because you drive a bigass truck doesn’t mean you can take two or four spots. Because I? Have a baby, stroller, diaper bag, various toys, myself, etc. etc. to haul around and need just one spot.
A yield sign is not a stop sign, or, learn to merge, dammit. Let me make this abundantly clear: IF YOU ARE MOVING, IT IS EASIER TO GET INTO TRAFFIC THAT IS ALSO MOVING. Pace traffic, find an opening and merge. Don’t stop and have all the traffic pile up behind you.
And OMG, my blood pressure.
Babyproofing gone awry
Posted by: Nicole on: January 9, 2010
Alternate title: adding to my bid for the Mother of the Year Award.
Awhile back, we did this to babyproof the TV stand so she wouldn’t whack her head against it, or if she did, it wouldn’t hurt in the same way that tempered, 3/4 inch glass hurts when it collides with a skull:
We thought we were all Clever, and Frugal, and Repurposing with it. It’s just foam insulation that you put around water pipes.
Today I removed it because the Poptart decided it would be a good thing to eat.
That foam, incidentally, does not digest. Just like band-aids.
The mother of the year award is MINE. You can all stop worrying about that.
Posted by: Nicole on: January 6, 2010
I know it’s only a week into January, but I really think I’ve cemented the mother of the year award with my uber-good parenting today.
1. Before we went out to Mother Goose, I set up the kitchen and entry so that the roomba could run around in there. I was moving the chairs, etc., into the living room where the poptart was playing with the (metal) heating vent on the wall. Then she yanked a tag off the the chair that I hadn’t removed. By the time I got to her she had consumed about a quarter of it.
2. I picked her up, put her pants on (she hangs out in a shirt only, usually), and went to put her boots and coat on her. When I got to the entry, I noticed there were drops of blood on her pants and shirt. I looked all over my hands for it; turns out she cut her finger open on the heating vent.
3. I took her upstairs, cleaned the cut and put a couple of those little round bandaids on it. Then I packed her in the car and went off to Mother Goose (you see where this is going, right?). When I got to Mother Goose, the bandaids were off her finger. I only found one of them.
It’s okay – it was one of the fabric ones.
And yes, I put new pants on her.
And that was just TODAY. Earlier in the week, I washed her sippy cup in the dishwasher and then filled it and put the lid back on – without the valve. It took me about 4 days to figure out why she was choking on the water all the time.
Just give up. Mother of the Year Award 2010 is MINE.
Listing
Posted by: Nicole on: January 2, 2010
1 : an act or instance of making or including in a list
2 : something that is listed
intransitive verb
: to tilt to one side; especially of a boat or ship : to tilt to one side in a state of equilibrium (as from an unbalanced load)
_____________________________________________________
I am not sure I have been the best person I can be for the past 8 months. I have become a mother – a huge change for me and my life has been revolving around the baby. There are times where I feel like I am losing myself. I have been listing – unbalanced.
So, in an effort to stop listing, I am listing my resolutions by theme month by month.
January: Finding Balance
1. Take time for myself daily and weekly in order to find myself.
- Take half an hour after my shower to meditate or read.
- Go for a swim or aquafit class one night per week after dinner.
- Take a 2-4 hour block of time one day on the weekend to myself and get out of the house.
- Take 20 minutes a day to do the 30 day shred.
2. Get started on the Poptart’s baby book. I have a bunch of free 4×6’s from Costco – I might as well use them.
3. Take an hour 3x/week while the Poptart is sleeping to do the necessary reading for the course I signed up for at University of Victoria*:
- when the Poptart sleeps in, unplug: don’t turn the TV on and leave the internet alone. Do the reading and the notes, then do the rest of the stuff.
- Use the Poptart’s nap times, when possible to do the work.
4. Set up a weekly meal plan by major food group. Find at least one new recipe to try each week (more on this over the weekend – I have an idea but that is a post in itself).
5. And participating in this because it sounds like fun and a good way to reconnect.
And that seems like enough.
From our family to yours…
Posted by: Nicole on: December 24, 2009
Merry Christmas. We wish you joy and peace for the holiday season.
Perturbed
Posted by: Nicole on: December 19, 2009
- In: 42
- 3 Comments
Tonight, I’m trying really hard to remember the spirit of the season. And yet, I am perturbed. Angry, even.
A couple of years ago, we had a fire at my townhouse complex. Two units gutted, one with extensive smoke and water damage. The people that lived in those units just moved back in a couple of weeks ago.
The culprit? The elderly man in the end unit who was cold (in the middle of August) and turned a space heater on and it caught fire. No one’s really sure if the heater got too close to something or if it short-circuited or what. There’s no blame anywhere.
A little backstory: the couple in that unit, the man and his wife, are elderly. She is often gone, visiting her grandkids (another story :sigh:). He is left alone.
Oh and the year before the fire, he was diagnosed with dementia. It was harmless, really, before the fire. He’d grouse at people parking in the visitors parking, grouse at people driving too fast in the complex, etc. And then the fire. His wife had said he wouldn’t be back – that she was getting help for him.
Today, Darren came upstairs and said there were firetrucks outside. I immediately went to the window to ogle the firemen. Unfortunately, they were pulling away. I went upstairs to get some diapers so we could go out and from the upstairs window, I saw the fire supervisor’s truck still there. I figured they were conducting some sort of inspection on the newly-repaired units.
We packed up and went out. When we pulled out of the garage, we noticed there was a second truck, some firefighters putting away some equipment, and the old man from that unit wandering around. Our neighbours 2 doors down were out and watching.
On the way to Costco, I informed Darren that if our family (especially the Poptart) was hurt because of something the old man did, there would be hell to pay. He agreed with me.
Apparently, the wife had gone out and he was going to boil some water. So he put a kettle on their gas stove.
It was an electric kettle. You know, the kind with the plastic outside and the base it sits on that you switch on to boil (no stove needed)?
Another neighbour heard the fire alarm, called 911 and then went in to get him. He was in the kitchen, watching, and refusing to leave because he didn’t think it would get any bigger. Apparently the flames were already at the fan. The neighbour is having breathing problems because of inhaling poisonous fumes from the burning plastic and was on 100% oxygen for a couple of hours.
The wife came home, was told what happened, and left him at home alone again. TWICE IN THE SAME AFTERNOON.
That’s when the 2 doors down neighbours called the police to see what could be done. They sent someone by to do an evaluation.
And so, I am feeling perturbed at the moment. As Darren says, the old man has proven, at least twice, that he does stupid shit when he’s left alone. And his wife refuses to recognize this.
I can only hope that at this point, she will get the help she needs.
Because really, if it happens again, I’m not the only one who will be uncharitable.
(Annual) Open Letter to Vancouver Drivers during the Snow
Posted by: Nicole on: December 15, 2009
- In: Rants| Uncategorized
- 2 Comments
I wrote this yesterday when we were supposed to get 20 cm (8 inches) of snow. We didn’t and everything is all melty, but it still holds true. Suggest you take number 1 to heart since we have a bit of reprieve right now.
Dear Drivers,
It’s that most wonderful time of the year when Vancouver gets it’s annual snowfall. I expect this year won’t be as bad as last year, but the rules are the same:
1. Get some goddamn snow tires already
For real. Just because “Vancouver doesn’t get that much snow” if you’re going to insist on going out in your car, in the snow, GET SNOW TIRES. You’ve had a year to save up since LAST YEAR’S snowfall. Buy the damn tires and another set of rims, keep them mounted and have them switched out every Thanksgiving and Valentines Day (or Easter if you tend to go on long drives to the interior).
2. If you park your car outside clear ALL of the snow off the windows, headlights, turn signals and the taillights before you get going
The windows are there so you can see when you drive. If there’s snow covering the windows, you can’t see. Duh.
Also, once you start moving, the snow falls off onto the (hopefully) cleared roads and messes them up, and flies onto the windshield of the car behind you. Really, really annoying. This morning, I drove Darren to the train, and the minivan in front of me had only cleared the windshield. With the wipers. The headlights were on but the taillights weren’t cleared off. I couldn’t tell if the driver was using signals when he/she turned because those were also covered. If it hadn’t been for the streetlights, I wouldn’t have been able to see the back of the car. With that in mind…
3. If you need to clear the white stuff off your car, give yourself extra time.
Get up 15 minutes earlier, assess and get your car ready. Better yet…
4. Take public transit or walk. Or both
I’m not even going to bother elaborating on this.
5. Stay calm and take your time
Duh.
