At least now I know what happened
Posted on: November 21, 2008
- In: Humour | Overheard | up the duff
- 6 Comments
Overheard:
Dad (on phone): So you guys will need nursery stuff – send a list of what you want.
Me: Oh. Okay.
Dad: well? Haven’t you been looking?
Me: Well the crib I want is at costco, but its pretty pricey.
Dad: What else do you need?
Me: (thinking: didn’t this man raise a child? me?) Well, we’ll need a stroller and carseat.
Dad: Oh you don’t need the carseat until later!
Me: [crickets]
Dad: Hellooooo?
Me: If we don’t have a carseat, how do we get the baby home from the hospital?
Dad: You hold it!
Me: (thinking he wouldn’t get a Britney reference) Well. Um. Now all children have to be in a carseat if they’re in the car. When they get too big for a carseat, they have to go in a booster seat until they’re 8.
Dad: Damn government, interfering with this stuff. When we brought you home from the hospital, we just put 4-inch foam in the back of the station wagon, on the bottom and so it went up against the back rest, you know? and then we just laid you down back there. So that if we had to stop suddenly and you slid forward, you wouldn’t hurt your head, because of the foam, you know?
Me: [crickets]
Mom: (in background) You can’t do that anymore.
Me: You know, I bet that’s why they changed the law. Someone saw you taking me home like that, called child protective services, and they changed the law. Its all about me.
Dad: It could shed some light on what happened to you though.
How I ever made it into adulthood astounds me.
6 Responses to "At least now I know what happened"
November 22, 2008 at 8:05 am
Heh. Dad quit smoking when Mom was pregnant with me because it caused her to be sick.
True story.
And I always thought that the brandy to get to sleep was for the mother?
November 22, 2008 at 12:43 pm
That’s pretty funny!
They won’t even let you leave the hospital without checking that your kid’s in the carseat properly. Both of my kids got the once-over from the nurse. Freaking government, trying to stop kids from dying. 
November 23, 2008 at 9:56 am
Funny stuff! My FIL is known to give babies sips of tea, and once claimed that my daughter (then 7 months old) was crying because she “wanted” chocolate. When told that perhaps this was not advisable, he said, “It won’t do her no ‘arm!” Goodness me…
[...] have told anecdotes about my dad in the past, most recently a conversation involving 4 inch foam and how I they brought me home from the hospital. My dad is a practical sort. Inventive. Frugal. Combine practical + frugal + inventive and you get [...]
[...] Sure enough, my parents got us a Graco travel system, a bassinet, baby blankets and a changing pad. I have to say that the stroller is pretty snazzy, collapses easily and comes with the infant car seat that we need in order to take the poptart home. Because 4 inch foam in the back of the Fit just won’t cut it any more. [...]
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November 22, 2008 at 7:41 am
OMG. Hilarious!!!
I think maybe you’re also not suposed to give your baby brandy to get it to sleep at night any more.
Or smoke cigarettes for morning sickness.