I didn’t know
Posted April 8, 2009on:
- In: Generosity and Thanks
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Author note: I struggled with this. I often say, “You could fill a warehouse with the things I don’t know.” Today, for better or for worse, that warehouse has one less item in it.
I didn’t know, really, what it meant to be a parent, to be a mother. All I knew is that this life inside of me is continuing to grow stronger every day, if the kicks to my ribs and organs are any indication.
I didn’t know, for sure, how important it is for her to stay put for another 5 weeks or so, because I didn’t know what RSV was and how it can affect premature babies. All I knew was that I don’t like being pregnant.
I didn’t know what it meant to have your heart shatter into a million pieces at the mere thought of losing your child, whether born or unborn.
I didn’t know how the attachment between mother and child worked or what it really meant. I don’t know how to put that into words. But I get it now.
I still don’t know, for sure, how they feel. And quite honestly, I don’t want to know.
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