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When I was in university, I had this professor who we’ll call James (because that was his name). He was an interesting character and a social constructivist. Which simply means that he believes we shape and in turn are also shaped by the world we live in. James explained this by using the example of diamonds. Diamonds, you see, are not valuable in and of themselves. They are only valuable because we assign value to them. They are therefore not worth buying.

I asked him what his wife thought of this. He laughed and moved on to the next student.

About a year later, I was picking up something from his house. He wasn’t home, so his wife helped me. She had the biggest diamond on her wedding/engagement set I’d ever seen. I guess I know who won that argument.

Call me a pessimist or jaded, but I tend to view Valentine’s day in much the same way. That is, it’s a social construct: it’s valuable because we (and Hallmark) have assigned value to it. That it’s the one day out of the year where we have to tell those we love that we love them. That we do things for them that we’d normally never do on any other day.

Bitter? Maybe a little. Neither Darren, nor myself are over-the-top romantics. I’d rather let him know every day that I love him and appreciate him for all he does. Isn’t that what being in a relationship is about, anyways?

I was sort of nervous to post this because then I might lose my two or so readers. And then I saw Mr. Lady’s Easter Post. Apologies in advance, but I can assure you, we’re both going to hell for this one.

Me: Happy Jesus Coming out of  a Hole Day!
Darren: Yes! 6 more weeks of winter!
Me: [giggles]
Darren: Its true! He comes out of a hole, sees his shadow and there’s 6 more weeks of winter!

Happy Easter. 🙂

We knew this Christmas was going to be “the baby Christmas.” Not baby as in “mini” but baby as in the spawn I am growing in my uterus that likes to kick my bladder new life we have lovingly created.

Sure enough, my parents got us a Graco travel system, a bassinet, baby blankets and a changing pad. I have to say that the stroller is pretty snazzy, collapses easily and comes with the infant car seat that we need in order to take the poptart home. Because 4 inch foam in the back of the Fit just won’t cut it any more.

Then we went to the inlaws who adore me, and I think they’re pretty cool too. They’re incredibly generous, kind people, with potty mouths. They usually give three different kinds of gifts, one of which is cash and don’t even get me started on that because every year it is Way Too Much.

The first kind of gift is a stocking, which consists of a lot of personal toiletry items. The first Christmas Darren and I spent together was the second time I’d met them. And they gave me this stocking with toothpaste, shampoo, deoderant, gum, etc in it. I was surprised and couldn’t help but think, “Are they trying to tell me something?”

That Christmas, as we were driving back to Darren’s condo, he said, “You know, the stocking means they like you. [Ex-witch] never got one.” To which I responded, “Oh good! I thought they were trying to tell me something!” (which kind of goes along with this post that I read at Motherhood Uncensored but I think I have a slightly different relationship with my inlaws then she does with hers).

So the stocking this year again had deoderant, toothpaste, etc. in it. And then there were the under-the-tree gifts, which were numerous: pajamas, and socks, and other incredibly useful things.

Moral of the story? Take presents as generosity – don’t read anything into it; people often mean the best but don’t realize how it comes across.

And even if they do mean it otherwise, it is Christmas; and what does a little goodwill cost you?

July 2020


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