Resolving Timeline Issues

Archive for the ‘Overheard’ Category

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Because the following conversation is the most exciting thing in DAYS here:

Coming in:

Darren: Oh, Brad’s coming in to town.
Me: When?
Darren: 7 and 8.
Me: Oh. Okay.
….
Me: [eyeing what Darren is carrying] Smirnoff Ice?
Darren: Yeah, that’s what he drinks!
Me: OH! Between 7 and 8! I thought you meant November 7 and 8.

A few minutes later:

ONE RINGY DINGY. TWO RINGY DINGYS.

Me: Hello?
Phone: silence.
Me: Helloooooo?
Phone: silence.
Me: :sigh: HELLLLOOOOOO?
Phone: BEEP BEEP BEEP! :turns off:
Me: Hm.

Go downstairs to see what’s going on. Darren is on the phone writing notes. He hangs up.

Me: So, where is he?
Darren: he’s broken down in Chilliwack.
Me: Oh. You have fun with that.
Darren: I knew you were going to say that.
Me: Yeah, because I’m a loving girlfriend and shit.

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Darren: What is with all these ads about the opposite side?

Me: Well, we get those too. You know the province buys ad space on TV.

Darren: Yeah, but that’s usually things like, “Licking power lines is bad.”

Me: What about all those BC 150 ads?

Darren: That’s STILL like telling us that “Licking power lines is bad.”

*crickets*

Because I’ve bitched about the carbon tax enough, how about something a little more frivolous?

Hotfessional’s last post reminded me about this. Conversation number one occurred when I was out to lunch with a coworker on Monday (hey, she was buying. Who am I to refuse a free lunch?). She was talking about her brother who has some anger management problems:

Coworker: So when he came here and stayed with me when I had my surgery, it rained for 22 days straight and he refused to go to the market.
Me: Mmmmf (said around a mouthful of goat cheese and prosciutto)
Coworker: I told him there was an umbrella and the market is two blocks away; he said he’d go after it stopped raining.
Me: Mmmmf (it was fries this time)
Coworker: I mean, really. Its not like he’d melt. He’s not the Wicked Witch of the West. (pause) Well, maybe he is the asshole of the east.

(Not that Mr. Hot is an asshole)

Conversation number two occurred on the ride home. My carpool partner got herself engaged over the weekend and was telling me about her wedding plans and how Darren and I would get an invitation because we carpool:

Me: You know, you’re not obligated to invite us.
Carpool buddy: Oh, I know. There’s no obligation. I actually like you.
(she does stand up comedy on the side) (this is also a pregnant pause)
Me: Thanks! I like you too!


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