Resolving Timeline Issues

Posts Tagged ‘daily dose of WTF?

Alternate title: I should be stuffing diapers.

Ever have one of those days where you need a really long title to your blog post set out to get things done and it just doesn’t happen?

1. Hiking

This was a big ol’ pile of FAIL. Not only was it sort of icky out, but the Poptart and I slept late and it was too late to go hiking with the group I usually go with.

2. Library Storytime

Then I decided that, since I wasn’t going hiking, I’d schlep the Poptart to the library for storytime.

Except she decided to take a nap and woke up right when storytime would have started.

3. Swimming

So I decided I’d take her swimming. We start waterbabies next week and I have yet to take her to the pool, although we do splash and float in the tub. Except at the pool, we won’t be naked. You have to have a pool rental for that*. The pool out here in Maple Ridge is closed until Monday for their annual shutdown so I thought I’d take her to Coquitlam. So I got everything together, changed into my suit under my clothes, changed her into a disposable diaper (easier to handle at the pool) and set off.

On my way to the bridge, I thought to myself that maybe I should go to Langley instead. And then I thought, no, I would just continue on my way.

And then I went over the bridge, and I thought to myself that I should just go to Port Coquitlam because its closer. But I continued on my way.

And got stuck in traffic. What should have been a 20 minute drive took almost an hour because of construction.

And when I got to the pool? It was closed for their annual shutdown.

Note to self: call and check next time.

So I headed back to Port Coquitlam (through traffic, again) and by the time I got to the pool there, the Poptart had fallen asleep. So we went home and THAT’s when she woke up.

4. Cookie Baking

Those of you that know me somewhat well are probably going “WTF? She doesn’t bake.” Well, I wanted cookies and I had all the ingredients so I baked chocolate chip cookies.

The poptart was fussing, loudly, and had some pretty bad gas going on. She squawked for a bit, I nursed her, she calmed down and then she squawked some more until I gave her some cereal. Then she sucked her thumb a bit and started yelling. Then she got quiet. REALLY quiet. Once I washed my hands for the fifty millionth time, I went over and checked her.

See, I’d thrown her diapers in the wash earlier and they were drying so I put her in a disposable.  I had put a second, smaller load of diapers and clothes on because they needed washing too.

When I checked her, she’d blown through the disposable onto her highchair. And I had cookies in the oven.

I cleaned her up, rediapered her in my last cloth diaper, rescued the cookies, put another sheet of cookies rescued the poptart and put her in her bouncy chair with Baby Einstein.

Thank you, Flying Spaghetti Monster, for Baby Einstein and the people who made it. I don’t know what it is, but it captivates the Poptart and when mommy needs a little time to hide the closet make cookies and do laundry, its great.

Then I gathered up all the dirty laundry and went downstairs to put the load in there on second rinse. Then I thought I might as well put the dirty stuff in and just rewash everything. So I did that, putting soap and borax in.

I went down a bit ago and realized I’d left the washer on “rinse” not “wash”. Because I am Brilliant with a capital B, like that. So I put it on wash instead of second rinse. Because, really, does it matter what order its done in?

I am just stunned that I managed to not burn the cookies and somehow make them so that they are crispy on the edges and soft in the middle, how I like them.

I have a chiro appointment tonight; if it goes like the rest of the day went, perhaps I should cancel it.

*Seriously, groups rent the pool and have naked swim times.

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Overheard:

Dad (on phone): So you guys will need nursery stuff – send a list of what you want.
Me: Oh. Okay.
Dad: well? Haven’t you been looking?
Me: Well the crib I want is at costco, but its pretty pricey.
Dad: What else do you need?
Me: (thinking: didn’t this man raise a child? me?) Well, we’ll need a stroller and carseat.
Dad: Oh you don’t need the carseat until later!
Me: [crickets]
Dad: Hellooooo?
Me: If we don’t have a carseat, how do we get the baby home from the hospital?
Dad: You hold it!
Me: (thinking he wouldn’t get a Britney reference) Well. Um. Now all children have to be in a carseat if they’re in the car. When they get too big for a carseat, they have to go in a booster seat until they’re 8.
Dad: Damn government, interfering with this stuff. When we brought you home from the hospital, we just put 4-inch foam in the back of the station wagon, on the bottom and so it went up against the back rest, you know? and then we just laid you down back there. So that if we had to stop suddenly and you slid forward, you wouldn’t hurt your head, because of the foam, you know?
Me: [crickets]
Mom: (in background) You can’t do that anymore.
Me: You know, I bet that’s why they changed the law. Someone saw you taking me home like that, called child protective services, and they changed the law. Its all about me.
Dad: It could shed some light on what happened to you though.

How I ever made it into adulthood astounds me.

  • In: WTF?
  • Comments Off on Random Saturday

First, and most importantly, Sunday is Mother’s day! Call your mother!

Speaking of mothers, did you read this article about the Tim Horton’s that fired a woman for giving away a TimBit to a fussing child because her mother was having a bad day? Enough other people have written about the injustice of it and generally how Tim’s treats its employees. I’m actually more interested in the ROB article, and one line in specific, down at the bottom.

Now, Tim’s often gives away free TimBits (and really, what part of the Tim is the bit?) to people and animals. I know, because I was zipping through a drive-through in Buttfucknowhere, BC, and the cashier tried to give me a timbit for the cat who was along for the ride. Seriously. Even after I told her the cat prefers mushrooms to pastry (really). This line in the ROB article caught my eye:

The Timbits given to pets, Ms. Mitchell added, are usually “day-old and recycled.”

Now, dear reader, tell me: WTF is a recycled TimBit?

That sounds just as yummy as the Tater Tot Casserole recipe from the Duggar family. Speaking of the Duggars, the wife is currently cooking number 18. 6 weeks along, apparently. :mumbles something about clown cars:

And for your hours of entertainment, you can play this game on the discovery channel site. Guess the Duggar kids’ names.

Well, enough with the current events.

This weekend I have little planned, aside from Sunshine’s Stag (where we get a pole dancing lesson and I am not allowed to take pictures), and calling my mother tomorrow.

I do, however, have plans to start an herb garden once I get off my butt and run to Rona. Pictures forthcoming.


May 2019
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