Resolving Timeline Issues

Posts Tagged ‘snakes

So this week’s topic on Girl Talk Thursday are the things you’re too chicken to do. While there are obvious things, like heroin or agreeing with Sarah Palin, here’s a top 5 list of Things You Will Never, Ever See Me Do Because I Am a Princess:

5. Be on a show like “Survivor”: really. I just enjoy my creature comforts too much and hate bugs with the fire of 10,000 suns.

4. Camping: see above re: creature comforts and bugs. Add to that campfires. They’re just gross. The whole “living off the land” just isn’t me. I mean, food comes from the supermarket, right?

3. Take a Math Class: I haven’t taken math since second year university. Math, she is not my strength. I am wrestling with this one though, because I would like to be confident doing math. I really would. Math scares the bejeezus out of me.

2. Pet a bumblebee: my mother does this and it gives me the heebie-jeebies. She actually pets them. See above re: insects. There are few things worse than buzzy insects. In fact, the one thing I can think of is my number one.

1. Pet, hold or otherwise touch a snake. Darren will often regale me with the tale of how he once caught a garder snake and took it to his mother (after he showed it to his father who cringed and said, “Go show your mother” – good man); she was making burgers, or something. She took the snake, stuffed some meat in its mouth and sent Darren on his way with the snake.

Really. That story just makes my skin crawl. I’m the person you see running full tilt out of the aquarium where they have the various snakes behind tempered glass.

The scene in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone where the snake comes out of it’s cage?????? OMG, just kill me. I watch it through my fingers.

And don’t get me started on “Snakes on a Plane.” Yes, I watched it. And I cringed and jumped all over the place. And then went and scrubbed myself with a brillo pad in the shower because EW.

Which sounds like a really good idea right now. GAH.

November 2020


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